5 Lessons Learned After a Year of Online Writing; Telling Stories
(Note: This was first published here on Substack.)
5 Lessons Learned After a Year of Online Writing
It's amusing to think back to a year ago and how daunting it seemed to start my blog and start putting myself out there. I still do not know where this goes, but it's been a fascinating learning experience and an amazing jump-starter for my own personal growth. After one year of writing on tomflanagin.com, Quora, Kindle Direct Publishing, and now through Substack, here are my top takeaways.
The Role of Fear in Writing
Writing online has sharpened multiple skills for me, not least of which is my own writing.
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The greatest lesson I learned comes from Steven King, who said, "I'm convinced that fear is at the root of most bad writing." Once I saw what he meant I couldn't unsee it.
Fear is shown through the excessive use of adverbs and extra sentences to explain things. Good writing is straightforward. You say it cause it's true. You don't temper it with an adverb, then explain your justification for saying it.
However, as a self-published expert on body language, there is a parallel here. Just like one can master the art of appearing confident without being so, a writer can master the art of fearless writing without the bona fides to back up what they are saying. Sometimes I read the most compelling prose and then have to ask myself, "Does this 25-year-old really know the secret to a good life?"
Putting Yourself Out There
Putting yourself out there is hard, at first. You worry excessively about whether what you are saying is silly or unimportant. Spending a lot of time working on something and hearing no feedback is also challenging.
After a year, these concerns have passed, unless I am writing something that veers into the controversial. But one of the biggest changes I've encountered is the development of a deep appreciation and understanding of what artists and creatives go through.
A Nirvana song came through my Spotify the other day and it clicked for me why so many artists struggle with addiction. It's the simple way to calm your nerves.
Along the way, I have also been amazed at how the simple act of putting myself out there has led others who wish to do the same to reach out and connect. It's like I opened the door to a secret club where people I have known for years feel comfortable sharing their creative dreams and asking me for my thoughts.
Navigating Your Niche
When you get into the bloggin' game, much of the advice you read is about choosing your "niche.” I struggled with this, as there are lots of areas I wanted to potentially write in. When I got started, I formed an LLC for tax deduction purposes and cleverly decided that a catch-all "lifestyle" blog would allow me to deduct any general life expenses (probably not true).
One year of writing clarified for me what my actual interests are though. At the end of the day, the posts I enjoy working on the most are about personal growth and wellness, including workplace wellness. The posts I enjoy writing the least are travel ones. I would not have guessed this a year ago. I would recommend that anyone follow a similar process when they are starting to find out what drives them the most, rather than choosing and specifying at the outset.
The Long Game of Monetization
There is a certain "get rich quick" feel to a lot of the advice you read about writing online. You see it included in many lists of potential side hustles.
Making money writing online is difficult. I think I've made about seven dollars -- though I've invested it wisely.
I have become involved in various online communities with other writers and can say that most of them seem to be struggling with the financials. When you do encounter someone making a living with it, you tend to find out that they've been doing it for ten years or more. And others who seem to be making it often have a partner who is providing financial support.
All that is to say, do it for the love of the game and not the money.
The Ease of Self-Publishing
With the advent of technology, the barriers to entry for publishing have crumbled.
There are no gatekeepers anymore. If you have ever dreamed of writing a book, rest assured that you don't have to pass a publisher's muster. JK Rowling was turned down by 12 publishers before releasing Harry Potter. You don't have to suffer the same fate.
With access to service providers on Fiverr and with Kindle Direct Publishing, writing a book has never been easier. You have no excuses.
What Comes Next
I am at a crossroads with my online writing. I neither want to continue with the pace and self-created deadlines I have been under, nor do I want to give it up. I know that if I did, within a couple of weeks I would have an idea for something I would want to explore and describe.
Like with my long history of fleeting hobbies and interests, I'll just keep riding the wave until it ends.
Telling Stories
Two lessons:
Evolutionary psychology suggests that social anxiety stems from an inherent drive to belong to a group. It suggests that over millennia, humans have developed anxiety responses triggered by perceived rejection or disapproval from others. This response can be understood as a survival mechanism, as being ostracized from a tribe historically meant a heightened risk of physical harm, lack of resources, and decreased chances of reproduction.
Or....
In October, I was driving through the lush Costa Rican countryside en route to Santa Teresa for a surf adventure. Except for my adorable puppy, I was all alone. This did not concern me, as I had access to plenty of money, and my iPhone. There was no doubt in my mind that if something went wrong, I'd end up ok.
Coming over one of the many sweeping hills along our journey, I saw a kitten on the side of the road. It was white with black patches. The kitten was on its own, nervously perched under the shade of a small tree. I had never seen something so fragile and vulnerable, at the mercy of nature.
It struck me at once why humans have evolved a deep-seated need to fit in with others. To be a member of a larger group. Long before iPhones and international bank access, humans too could be cast aside and abandoned, left vulnerable to predators and a world of unknown dangers.
I immediately understood how social anxiety evolved to be a protecting force, driving us to seek social approval, belong to a tribe, and guarding us from greater dangers.
Stories are Better Than Facts
Stories have an unmatched ability to captivate, persuade, and most importantly, to be remembered. Facts satisfy our logic, but stories capture our hearts.
“Stories are the single most powerful weapon any leader can arm themselves with–they are the currency of humanity. Those who tell captivating, inspiring, emotional stories rule the world," says Steven Bartlett, in the Diary of a CEO.
Neurological studies have shown that our brains are far more engaged by storytelling than they are by facts and figures. When we hear a story, not only the language processing parts of our brain light up, but any other area in our brain that we would use when experiencing the events of the story activates too. This has great implications for communication and persuasion.
“The best story wins. Not the best idea, or the right idea, or the most rational idea. Just whoever tells a story that catches people’s attention and gets them to nod their heads is the one who tends to be rewarded," says Morgan Housel in Same as Ever: A Guide to What Never Changes.
People are more compelled by stories that resonate with them on an emotional level. Stories are how we understand the world and relay our experiences to each other.
Creating a Story
I recently read Storyworthy, by Matthew Dicks. Dicks is an award-winning storyteller. His book not only preaches the importance of storytelling but also serves as a guide to incorporating it into your daily life.
While the book is full of techniques that can transform even the most mundane events into compelling narratives, the main point is that telling a story is about finding the 'moment' that can elicit an emotional response from the audience, thereby making the story memorable.
At its core, telling a story is about capturing that five-second moment when something changes.
Incorporating Storytelling in Your Life
Storytelling isn't just for writers or performers. It’s for everyone, in every facet of life. In professional settings, stories can make your presentations more memorable and your ideas more persuasive.
Importantly — and why this interests me — creating stories is immensely more fun than writing boring statements of fact.
"We recommend you do x..." vs "I had a client that did y, z happened, and that's why we recommend you do x."
"That's a bad idea..." vs "I tried something similar when I was working on x, z happened, so I think we might want to explore a different track."
"Let's go to this restaurant instead.." vs "Many moons ago, I had a torrid love affair with a Spanish masseuse. Things ended badly, and her brother now works as a sommelier at that restaurant. Unless you want our dinner interrupted by a séance of Latin machismo, I think we should go to this restaurant instead..."
Getting Started
Becoming a better storyteller is a skill that takes practice. But even incorporating a few basic tips will make your stories far stronger than the average.
The book Storyworthy is a good place to start. Dicks also has a free online academy I’m currently working through that is worth checking out.
Whether you are writing a sales pitch, out with friends, or presenting to your colleagues, storytelling is a tool that should be incorporated. It is how humans have taught and persuaded for millennia, and can be harnessed to create impact in every facet of life.