When did you stop playing?
“The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of childhood into adulthood.”
I recently had a conversation with Ocean Kiani about a project she is working on.
We connected through an online forum for creatives. She was interested in interviewing people about how they play and I sent her a note with some of my activities to set up a call.
The preparation for our chat as well as the conversation have me thinking a lot about the nature of play as an adult versus when we were children.
Reflecting on my childhood, my forms of play were largely physical or fantasy. We would play baseball, kickball, tag, or other PE-type sports. My favorite was just racing people on foot near our school’s playground.
I also recall being able to go deep into fantasy. I would enter a dream world where I was a professional baseball player or Batman or a millionaire. Maybe it was a form of escapism, but I see my friends’ kids act out similar fantasy games on their own and wonder if that is something inherent in children. It seems to run counter to my current thoughts on mindfulness, but that does not mean there is no value in this practice.
Ocean and I’s discussion was focused on the nature of play as an adult. We discussed my travel for rock climbing and surfing, and how these activities serve as a compass for choosing my destinations.
But the conversation dove into the nature of play itself, as well as thinking about when we stopped playing as a regular activity.
I think that many of us cease to engage in playful activities around middle school. This point coincides with the onset of self-consciousness and the concern for social approval. You are unlikely to feel comfortable pretending to be a race car driver or Batman on the lawn outside of your middle school.
Interestingly, when I think back about the oddball kids that did not fit in, I recall that many of them kept a healthy sense of imagination. We thought they were weird, but I look back and recall seeing some of these kids lost in a dream world. I recall many of these same kids had an artistic side, and you would see them carrying a sketchbook and engaging in some form of art. This makes me a little envious of them now, casting away social approval to pursue their interests.
Today, even in pursuits I might consider “play” now, such as running, climbing, or surfing, there is something uneasy about how the activities have become so performance focused. The joy of engaging in these activities has been overshadowed by the need to measure progress and excel. I ran this morning for exactly three miles and was disappointed with my pace. But why? Why did I not just go run for as long as I wanted and enjoy it?
I find that the only occasions I now see other adults engage in play are with yoga or dancing. On Instagram, I see videos of yoga teachers or dancers fooling around and experimenting, working on new moves or combinations. Dancing seems to bring about the biggest smiles. Dancers seem like they are having the time of their lives, whether they are performing well or not.
Is there something unique about those activities? Or can we find a way to apply that same playfulness to our other pursuits? I want to find out.
When did you stop playing?